Like every problem, we should always start at the root of it. Do we start with the history of feminism, sexism, the evolution of civilisation structured by the dominant male? No... like every problem, we should always start at the root... God :D
*this might get a little touchy and is not meant to offend, your choice to read or ignore*
*and I usually write in a recursive manner...so hope you guys follow up easily*
I read this book Captivating, by John & Stasi Eldredge
I mean, although religion is as controversial as, for example, whether pink is the new black in fashion. Which hello?... black's simply the bomb, enough said :Þ ok, got a little sidetracked there. So yeah, I believe there has to be a creator in this world.
you: Why ping? Why and How are you so sure that there is a supernatural existence we call God?
me: Well... thing is. If you were to question the all time favourite topic, evolution, I'd say it's debatable. But seriously, with all the obvious facts, there has to be a supernatural existence. Take not I'm note rooting for my Christian beliefs. If the whole process throughout the last 2000 years still baffle you, keep this in mind; Evolution is the answer to how and not why. Why, is really an individual perspective... so i'll leave it at that, for now at least.
It really is a hard topic... before we even discuss this we need to read up on The Ladder Theory. But i know you all probably don't give nuts about clicking that link. But I assure you it's a great read. Very, enlightening :D I'll just have a little summary of it here. It basically a study on the attraction between the male and the female.
You know what? This whole topic needs to be broken down to bits!!! It's insane!! I'm being so anal, I know. But it can't be helped. Anything less than this would just be a post full of flaws *no offence ying* like every other woman that has tried justifying feminism and *a thin line* sexism! It's just going to end up in a big ball of mess like how it is today. Not saying my opinions are THE whole truth of the situation, but I'd prefer a more thorough approach to it. Ok, think about it:-
Male - Female
Religion/Culture/Heritage - Conformism (generally set by Americans)
Outer beauty - Inner Beauty
To make love - To fuck
A fling - A commitment
Similarities attract - Opposites attract
Putting all that aside, it is afterall my blog. So this is my personal opinion subconsciously influenced by whatever I've stated as above and consciously influenced by my Christian background. I'm exhausted already, I really won't be able to compose my thoughts like how the book has... simply beautiful. So i'll be adding excerpts, also encouraging you all to give it a try :D
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She is the crescendo, the final, astonishing work of God. Woman. In one last flourish creation comes to a finish not with Adam, but with Eve. She is the master's finishing touch.
*God created the world and last created Eve...just so you know..haha..just thought i should add that cause it's beautiful and you guys might miss it's essence*
Men are the less complicated of the two genders trying to navigate love and life together. Both men and women know this to be true. The mystery of the feminine heart was meant to be a good thing, by the way. A source of joy. Yet it has become a source of shame - women almost universally feel that they are "too much" and "not what they should be". And men tend to pull away from the deeper waters of a woman's soul, unsure of what they will find there or how to handle it. And so we have missed the treasure that is the heart of a woman, missed the richness femininity was meant to bring to our lives, missed the way it speaks to us of the heart of God.
So is a true woman Cinderella or Joan of Arc? Mary Magdalene or Oprah? How do we recover essential femininity without falling into stereotypes, or worse, ushering in more pressure and shame upon us? God has set within each of us a femininity that is powerful and tender, fierce and alluring. No doubt is has been misunderstood. Surely it has been assaulted. But it is there, your true heart, and it is worth recovering. You are captivating...
This journey begins with your heart, in other words, in begins with desire. Like all fairy tales, we want to be the damsel in distress. We simply love feeling wanted and fought for. We are to be desired, to be pursued by ONE who loves you, to be someone's priority.This desire is set deep in ever girl..and woman's heart. Yet most of us are ashamed of it, we downplay it and pretend it is less than it is. I mean, we are after all the women of the 21st century, strong independent and capable :P We are meant to be warriors for sure! But... in a uniquely feminine way.
Think of Arwen in Lord of The Rings, the nurses in Pearl Harbour who in the midst of all that horror brought courage and strength. Think of Esther, Mary and Ruth in the bible. They were not 'safe', nice' or 'sweet' women...they were Passionate and Powerful!
*i think passion is my most favourite word ever*
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Ok..think Adam and Eve and the serpent. Serpent lures Eve to eat the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden, and Eve calls Adam and gets him to eat it too. See... they ate the FORBIDDEN FRUIT... and this happened.
The Curse from God
To Eve he said,
"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you"
To Adam he said,
Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which i commanded you, "You must not eat from it, "Cursed is the ground because of you, through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you
(Genesis 3:16-18)
Women is cursed with loneliness(relational heartache), with the urge to control (especially her man), and with the dominance of men(which is not how things are meant to be)- not to say it's a bad thing. It is a sad fact of history.
Affairs and divorces strike at a woman's worst fear;
Abandonment is a woman's worst fear.
Man is cursed with futility and failure;
Failure is a man's worst fear.
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When a man goes bad - He becomes passive, weak, strength surrendered OR violent, strength unglued.
When a woman goes bad - She becomes dominating, controlling OR desolate, needy, mousy.
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Sometimes the idea of living as a hermit appeals to all of us. No demands, no needs, no pain, no disappointments. Women forfeit their femininity in order to feel safe and in control. But that is because we have been hurt, are worn out. Our lives was meant to be lived with others. We long to be an irreplaceable part of a shared adventure.
Remember us as little girls playing dress up and twirling skirts and wanting to look pretty? How we would look at princesses and brides, played with beads and jewelery.. Guys play dress up too. But differently :D Jedi knights, Cowboys...or.... power rangers :D Little boys don't play dress up with their mother's heels and dresses, they don't sit for hours brushing each other's hair. Our young hearts intuitively want to know that we are lovely :) God has set eternity in our hearts. The longing to be beautiful is set there as well. Ruth, the character in the bible, may have been a lovely and strong woman, but it is to her unrelenting courage and vulnerability and faith in God that Boaz was drawn to. This isn't about dresses and make up. Beauty is SO important.
By now, a proven point here is that women yearn to be seen, yearn to be captivating. But it is that desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want a beauty that can be seen, beauty that can be felt, beauty that affects others, a beauty all our own to unveil.
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Men!
Braveheart, Saving Private Ryan, Gladiator! Battles, boys with weapons! Boys wrestle and hit and slam against each other to show affection :) Important point coming up, women do not fear a man's strength IF he is a good man. In fact, passivity might make a man safe, but it has done more damage than good. Men long for battle, adventures, rock climbing, go karts. Adventure is a deeply spiritual longing in the heart that requires something of them; that puts them to the test. Though men may fear that test, at the same time they yearn it and to discover if they have what it takes.
Finally... every man longs for a beauty to rescue :D Robin Hood to be without Marian, King Arthur without Guinevere? Lonely men fight lonely battles. You see, it's not just that a man needs a battle to fight. He needs someone to fight for. There is nothing that inspires a man to courage so much as the woman he loves. Don't misunderstand this. Women are not 'helpless creatures' who can't live life without a man. I'm saying that men long to offer their strength on behalf of a woman.
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SO, can you see how the deep desires of a man's heart and the desires of a woman's heart were meant to fit beautifully together?? A woman in the presence of a good man, a real man, loves being a woman. His strength allows her feminine heart to flourish. His pursuit draws out her beauty. And a man in the presence of a real woman loves being a man. Her beauty arouses him to play the man, it draws out his strength. She inspires him to be a hero...
Aaaaawwww......
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When God created Eve, he called her an ezer kenegdo. Ezer is used only twenty other places in the entire old testament. And in every other instance the person being described is God himself! when you need him to come through for you desperately. Most of the contexts are life and death and God is your only hope. Your ezer. Therefore, ezer would be "lifesaver". Kenegdo means, alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart. Like God, God doesn't want to be a tag along, an after thought or a distress call. Neither does any woman. God is essential and wants us to need him desperately. Eve is essential. She has an irreplaceable role to play. And so you'll see that women are endowed with fierce devotion, an ability to suffer great hardships.
God gave Eve a beautiful form and a beautiful spirit. She expresses beauty in both. Better, she expresses beauty simply in who she is. Like God, it is her essence. For Adam, he is best captured in motion, doing something. His essence is strength in action. That is what he speaks to the world. He bears the image of God, who is a warrior.
THAT IS WHY....a passive man is so disturbing. His passivity defies his very essence. Eg: We don't go OMG, Brad Pitt or Jude Law is so hot just cause of their physical appearances. Imagine them both, and the only movies you've ever seen were of them being bums at home, quiet with low self-esteems. Point is, girls 'love' them, because of their characters. How brad fights his wars and rescues the women. How jude speaks from his brilliant mind and his dangerous charm.
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Conclusion:-
Every women's heart's desire is to be longed for. If you think he might just be the one for you; nudge gently, pursue with subtle grace. Haha! If all else fails, tell him. The man you fall for better be mature enough to handle an honest and upfront conversation and not allow it to jeopardize your friendship.
Every man wants a woman he can love and care for. If you see her, pursue her with honesty and sincerity. If you're worried she's going to think you're a loser, then don't bother in the first place. Because a woman who is worth pursuing will feel flattered and appreciate you summing up that courage. Honest! but will trash you if you did it with bad intentions or with bad ass corny jokes. I'm sorry..that can't be helped.
_end_
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That was intense blogging...this is the longest post ever!!! All as reference to my very short conclusions! I'm just not sure if anyone would survive the read. If you did, thank you. If you didn't... i thoroughly understand. Haha!
With love xoxo
2 comments:
wow long..but interesting.. hey mayb next time u can be part-time writer wat.. =) haha i like ur conclusion..its so rite.. take care
Thanks so much sun! :D I doubt I'd bother to write anything. haha! But thanks :D xoxo
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